Want to tell you a story
about the vision plan blues.
I come to the office one Friday
had to tell the receptionist she'd lost her job.
She said "That don't confront me
long as I get my paycheck and vacation pay next Friday".
Now next Friday come I couldn't make the payroll
'cause to VSP I sold my soul.
So I goes to the receptionist
I said "Can you let me slide?
I'll have the check for you in a month next, I don't know."
So I said "Let me slide it on." You know people?
I notice when I come to work in the mornin'
she ain't got nothing nice to say to me.
But for five year she was so nice,
Lord, she was lovey-dovey.
I come into work one particular morning
the receptionist said "You got my back pay yet?"
I said "No, got too many chargebacks,
therefore I ain't got no money to pay the check".
She said "I don't believe you're tryin' to sell from the chair"
said "I seen you today you standin' in the exam room
prescribing off the autorefractor".
I said "But I'm tired, I've been spinnin' and grinnin' all day."
She said "That don't confront me
long as I get my money next Friday".
Now next Friday come I didn't have the checks
'cause with EyeMed we almost give away our specs.
So I go down the streets
down to my good friend's WalMart lease
I said "Look man I'm not booking out, you know?
Can I work for you maybe a couple half days?"
He said "Let me go and ask my manager."
He come out of the back office
I could see it in his face
I know that was no.
He said "I don't know man, ah, she kinda funny, you know?"
I said "I know. Everybody funny. Now you funny too."
So I go back to my office
I tell the receptionist I got a side job, I'm gonna meet payroll.
She said "Yeah?"
I said "Oh yeah."
And then she was so nice,
Lord, she was lovey-dovey.
So I go in my exam room, pack up my Review of Optometry collection and I go.
I slip on out the back door and down the streets I go.
She a-howlin' about the vacation pay, she'll be lucky to get any back pay.
She ain't gonna get none of it.
So I stop in the local bar, you know people.
I go to the bar, I ring my white coat, I call the bartender.
Said "Look man, come down here".
He got down there.
"So what you want?"
"One bourbon,
one scotch,
one beer."
Ain't seen a new fee-schedule since
I don't know when
I've been drinking bourbon, whiskey, scotch and gin
Gonna get high man
I'm gonna get loose
Need me a triple shot of that juice
Gonna get drunk
don't you have no fear
I want one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
One bourbon,
one scotch,
one beer.
But I'm sitting now at the bar.
I'm getting drunk, I'm feelin' mellow.
I'm drinkin' bourbon, I'm drinkin' scotch, I'm drinkin' beer.
Looked down the bar,
here come the bartender.
I said "Look man, come down here".
"So what you want?"
"One bourbon,
one scotch,
one beer"
Ain't been in the
black since
the year before last
Gotta get a drink man
I'm gonna get gassed
Gonna get high man
I ain't had enough
Need me a triple
shot of that stuff
Gonna get drunk
won't you listen right here
I want one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer
One bourbon,
one scotch,
one beer.
Yeah, scratch my back, baby.
Ah!
Now by this time I'm plenty high.
You know when your mouth a-getting dry,
you're plenty high.
Looked down the bar I say to my bartender
I said "Look man, come down here".
He got down there.
"So what you want this time?"
I said "Look man, a-what time is it?"
He said "The clock on the wall say three o'clock.
Last call for alcohol.
So what you need?"
"One bourbon,
one scotch,
one beer."
Ain't seen a fat daysheet
since nigh' and a week
Gotta get drunk man
'til I can't even speak
Gonna get high man
listen to me
One drink ain't enough Jack,
you better make it three
I want to get drunk
I'm gonna make it real clear
I want one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
One bourbon,
one scotch,
one beer
